TOTAL CRACK T OR D KUROSHITSUJI STYLE
by TheLoveForCielPhantomhive
Summary: Hey! THRID chapter up ! I know some people reviwed my story for the first chapter but I had to delete it because me being a dumbass did not know how to put a new chappie on a story.Sorry!
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone :D I'm back from a VERY long absence (due to school a.k.a my hell hole =_=) and I'm very pleased to announce my very first humor story with the cast of kuroshitsuji!It's a truth or dare story where i'll be taking my lovely viewers request :}.The cast so far is ciel, sebastian ,grell,undertaker,alois,claude the creeper AHEM Claude,Hannah,The triplets,Lau,and ran mao aka the girl who sits on lau all the with the story!Oh ONE MORE THING!NO ELIZABETH WHAT SO EVER. NOW lets begin!Oh AND THE PHANTOMHIVE SERVANTS** ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ TheLoveForCielPhantomhive: Welcome ladies and gents to the kuroshitsuji Truth or dare Segment where you the audience get to ask or dare your favorite character something!

Ciel:Why do I have to be here?

TheLoveForCielPhantomhive:Because you do! Besides It would'nt be kuroshitsuji without Ciel!

Ciel:Yeah Yeah whatever just get on with it!

Tanaka:Ho Ho Ho

Alois:Hey ciel! Want to get into my short shorts today? :D

Ciel: Hell to the naw O_O

Alois:AWWWW *Goes in emo corner *(**a/n if anyone gets the refrence and tells me alois will have smexy smex with you)**

TheLoveForCiel:AWWWW alois dont worry The fangirls want to get into your booty shorts :D

Alois: Really?:D

TheLuv4Ciel:Really. Oh! Almost forgot :)**SEBASTIAN GET YOUR SMEXY BEHIND IN HERE AND GIVE CIEL HIS PIMP CANE!**

Ciel:Why You-! IT's Not a fucking pimp cane!

TheLuv4Ciel:Yes It is!

Ciel: No

TheLuv4Ciel:Yes

Sebastian:Excuse me but could you two stop bickering for just a touch longer while I give the young master to what the writer referes to as his "pimp cane"?

TheLuv4Ciel:I guess but we WILL continue this later *Death glare at ciel*

Ciel:We Shall *death glares back*

Sebastian: Young master I presume you would want to know that a creeper presence is above you

Ciel: Sebastian are you suggesting that im a pedo-

Claude:*falls ciel and starts kissing him all over the place*

Sebastian: Hey claude

Claude:?

Sebastian * Bitch slaps claude*That is MY fucking property hoe. You have your slut of a master I have mine *death glare at claude*

TheLuv4Ciel and Alois: *sits back with a bucket of popcorn watching*

Ciel: **AREN'T YOU GOING TO CALL SECURITY?**

TheLuv4Ciel:Naww besides I bet Ciel the slut would want seeing pimp sebstian get the "buisness" done.

Ciel:*blushes* well at least I can be a slut!

Alois:**OH NO HE DID'Nt**

TheLuv4Ciel: **OH YES HE DIIIID**!*Punches Ciel in the face*

Ciel:*Slaps Author*

TheLuv4Ciel and Ciel:**I'LL KILL YOU** * Goes off somewhere chasing each other*

Alois:AWWW I have noone to fight * Sees tanaka*

Tanaka:Ho Ho Ho?

Alois:*Beats up tanaka*

Tanaka: Ho...Ho...Hooooooo.  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Liked it? If I have at least 5 truth or dares then another chapter will be posted! Hate it? Lemme Know In A Review!Bye! <em><strong>I DONT OWN KUROSHITSUJI<strong>_


	2. KUROSHIT T OR D CHAPTER 2

**Hey everyone!Don't Kill me! I swear it wasn't my fault!My sissy Kept hogging the computer! Thanks everyone for reviewing! Special Thanks to :RealWorldRemedy,Reviewer(),PennyBlu,and last but obviously not least Insane-Serenity Ice Queen and to all of those who put my story on story alert and put the story on favorite and all the good stuff!Here it goes!*I Dont own kuroshitsuji Or black butler***

**_**  
>Alois:Yo Waz up my ni-<p>

TheLuv4Ciel:*covers Alois's mouth* We don't use racist terms here Alois!

Alois:I Was going to say Nigerians but Ni***** works good to :P

TheLuv4Ciel: *mumbles* O god*turns 2 audience*Hey guys, long time no beatings!I got some dares!Go me!

Alois:Of course due to my awesomenes!

TheLuv4Ciel:**LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT**!*Starts singing* This is my moment my moment its my time my time my time this is my moment my mo-

Alois:SHUT UP! I hate rebbeca black!*I do not own rebbeca black ; If I did I would give her up for adoption.**Ciel comes in *

Ciel: Stop yelling! Your giving me a headache.

TheLuv4Ciel: Good , Ciel! Your here just in time to do our first dare!

Insane-Serenity Ice Queen : I dare Alois and Ciel To Do A Duet dance to the song : Sexy naughty bitchy me in your church boy uniforms .

TheLuv4ciel:LOL! Awesome Dare!* hands ciel and alois church boy uniforms*

Ciel:Are you fucking crazy? Im so not doing this!

TheLuv4 Ciel:You have to ciel! OR else ill*whispers it in ciel's ear*

Ciel:*eyes go wide * Fine!

Alois and ciel:*on stage *_ I pick all my skrits to be a little too, sexy. Just like all my thoughts they always get a bit naughty . When I'm out with my girls, I always play a bit bitchy . Can't change the way I am Sexy naughty bitchy me._*Alois booty shakes and ciels grinds on alois;blushing*_Im the kinda girl that girls dont like.I'm the kind that boys fantasize.I'm the kind that your momma and your dad were afraid you'd turn out to be like.I may seem unapproachable but that's only to the ones who dont have the right approach or ride that makes a girl like me wanna hop in and roll._*Alois rubs his hands on Ciel's booty and smacks it softly*_People thinks it's intimadating oh when a girl is cool with her sexuality_.  
><em>Im a 180 to the stereotypes girls like staying home and being innocent<em>*alois grind on ciel while slowly taking off ciel's shirt.* _I pick all my skrits to be a little too sexy .Just like all my thought's they always get a bit I'm Out with my girl's I always play a bit bitchy can't change the way I am ,Sexy naughty bitchy me_.*Alois pay with ciel's pink nipples while grinding on him and ciel is moaning softly as alois pulls him into a passionate kiss*_My mouth never takes a holiday I always shock with the things I say.I was always the kid in school who turned up to each class 'bout an hour late_.*Alois is now taking off his own shrit and threw his church choir hat in the audience Ciel took off his short - shorts to reveal his 5 1/2 inch long penis*

TheLuv4ciel:**WOAH WOAH WOAH!**Sorry to be a party shitter but Ciel you need to put your pee-pee away!Your NOT going to have sex on my stage!*turns around * Sebby you did get it on camera, right?

Sebastian: Most certainly. We would'nt want bochan's lenght to go unnoticed.

Ciel: **WHAT THE FUCK! YOU GUYS WERE FILMING?**

TheLuvforCiel: Duh! * Gives tapes to all of the reviwer's and people who read my story.*

Ciel: Sebastian youre so screwed

TheLuv forCiel:You are because we have our next dare!

RealWorldRemedy:I dare Ciel to command Sebastian to Spend an entire day with Grell and Grell can have his way with him! If Sebby is still alive after he can have his way with Ciel.

Grell:Really? O bless your heart for you finally giving me that day with Sebastian Ciel promised me *glares at ciel*But now I finally get it!*Grabs Sebastian's hand and runs out of truth or dare place*

TheLuv4Ciel: May god help Sebastian. Next dare!

Reviewer():Have you evey cheated on a pass lover?

Ciel:*blushes* Yes

TheLuv4Ciel:**I** **KNEW YOU WERE A WHORE!**

Ciel: **S-SHUT UP YOU!**

Alois: Duh! I've cheated on Claude many more times than you could count.

TheLuv4Ciel:...

Ciel : Oh you call me a whore but yet you stay silent after Alois said that!

TheLuv4Ciel: *Shrugs* You're more fun to tease. Plus, Alois knows he's a whore. You need what I call **S.A.I.K.Y.A.M.W**

Ciel: WHat the fuck does that mean!

TheLuv4Ciel: **Spriatual awakening in knowing that your a man whore.**

Ciel: Very clever -_-"

TheLuv4ciel: Anyway,Reviwer() still has more to ask!

Reviewer:Everyone get up and say commando !

Ciel: Commando!

Alois: **COMMANDONESS!**

TheLuv4Ciel: Commando.

Ciel: Wow. You really have enthusiasim there -_-"

TheLuv4Ciel:Shut the fuck up before I cut both of your eyes out with a spoon.

Ciel: Try it hoe!

TheLuv4Ciel: You're calling me the hoe?

Ciel:...

TheLuv4Ciel:That's what I thought.

Claude: **CO**mmando

Sebastian:C-C-Commando

TheLuv4ciel:When did Sebby get back?

Ciel: He's did'nt. He's currently getting raped by Grell the pot head -_-"

Grell:Jealous much?

Ciel: **BITCH HE DOES'NT LIKE NEVER DID! IF HE LIKED YOU SO MUCH THAN WHY IS HE ALWAYS HAVING SEX WITH ME NOT YOU? GET A LIFE YOU UGLY TRANSVESTITE!(**_Dont have anything against transvestites or grell)_

TheLuv4Ciel: Harsh man!

Grell:*crying*

*Sebby is able to escape and comes back into the studio*

Sebastian: Hello all!:D

Ciel: *hugs sebby* Don't ever leave me again!

Theluv4Ciel:I'm sure he won't remeber the other part of the dare?

Ciel: I dont care! Take me sebastian! TAKE ME!

Sebastian: Yes my lord.

_**_LEMON TIME_**_

Sebastian:*Carries Ciel into Ciel's dressing room*

Ciel: Why here! If anything we should have it in your roo-

Sebastian: Shh my lord.

Ciel:*Blushes* W-Why should I!

Sebastian:*whispers sexually* Because then I won't be gentle.

Ciel: *Still blushing* Fine!

Sebastian: * takes out handcuffs from back pocket.*

Ciel : WTF! Do you just keep them thier all of the time!

Sebastian : Yes

Ciel : * Takes off his shirt and pantsu .* ( Now I can take my panties off take my panties off take them off okkkkk ; anyone get that refrence?)

Sebastian: * Is Already Disrobed* Passionatley kisses ciel*

Ciel: * Is already erect*

Sebastian: * Gently pumping Ciel penis while still kissing him*10 seconds later *Starts planting kisses on Ciel's body while going lower and lower until he reaches the boy's penis*

Sebastian ( AGAIN) : Oh bo-chan , Your Body is so beautiful .

Ciel: * Blushing* ( Wow Ciel does A LOT of Blushing in this story): S- Shut up and f-fuck me you fool!

Sebastian: Yes my lord.* pushes his penis a little bit into Ciel's opening* Ready?

Ciel : What did I just say?

Sebastian : Oh bo-chan you're so demanding!

Ciel: Grrrrrrr

Sebastian : Fine Fine!*pushes it all the way in _**WITHOUT**_ warning*

Ciel: *Screams*

Sebastian: *Starts go in and out in and out*

Ciel: *Keeps screaming while blood comes out of his anus*

*Outside of the door in the main room of the truth or dare place*

TheLuv4Ciel: **WTF** are they doing in thier?

Alois: **IDK** but it sounds fun!

THeLuv4Ciel: Next dare while those two are having fun!

Penny blu: I dare Ciel to smooch Sebastian!

TheLuv4Ciel: *Knock on the door and hears stiffled moans* Yo guys ! Get out here ,_**WITH CLOTHES ON!,**_ and smooch each other.  
>-*10 Minutes Later In Main Studio*-<p>

Ciel : * Smooches sebastian *

Sebastian: *Slowly slips his tongue in Ciel's mouth.

TheLuv4Ciel:Ok While those two our having thier making out Im going to End the Official Show!

TheLuv4Ciel:Goodbye!

Alois: Goodbye! Call me ladies ( or men)!;)

Ciel: Goodbye!:D

Sebby: Goooooooodbyeeeeeee! * in a really high pitched voice*

Everyone: O_O

Sebby: Sorry!

Claude: GoodBye and Goodnight!( or whatever time you're reading this)

**_END OF CHAPTER_**  
><strong>*AUTHOR'S NOTES(READ!<strong>

**1. It isn't as long as I wanted it to be! Sorry guys!**  
><strong>2. I included the lemon as a present in the dare for not updating in so long!<strong>  
><strong>3. message me if you got the refrence lol!<strong>

**4.I'm going to have waaay more segements including the following: Hate mail to characters , Author's dare, Group Orgy, and lots more! You guys could send me segements to ! Like Lemon time every chapter.**  
><strong>5 There's a Poll on my profile titled : kuroshitsuji hottest guy or something like that. Check it out!<strong>

**6. Dont't worry my rape of ciel story is not dead! I'll be updating that one soon.**

**the sexy naughty bitchy me are the lyrics incase you don't know the song**  
><strong>*I actually write the story in cursive before I transfer it to fanfiction<strong>


	3. SEBBY'S A PEDO! KURO T OR D CHAPTER 3

XD Yeah I know you guys hate me :D. I haven't updated in like *tries to count but fails* Um I don't know how many days xD.I'm not going to tell you some bullshit excuse,however the ones in my previous chapters are real.I've been going on another website called so that's why I haven't been updating xD (PSSST If you have a habbo add me I'm funbutter142 yeah don't ask about the name ) So ANYWAY I REALLY NEED TO UPDATE MY TRUTH OR DARE SO I AM :3.I had to search WAY into my email to find the dares soooo I'm just making a quick one xD (jk I kinda lost the emails so if you guys could ask more that would be fantastic.)NOTICE! I'm ending school in 2 days so I should be updating more.I'm going to ninth grade :( Im excited for it it's just that I'll miss my friends and sappy shit like that xD. P.S I hate I now present chapter... 4 I believe of this story xD  
>_<p>

Ciel: *slaps me*

Me: OWWWWIE :(. WHAT WAS THAT FOR YOU OVERPRIVLEGED BRENTWOOD JEW :(*comment if you know the refrence xD)

Ciel: First of all what the fuck did you just call me? Secondly,It's because you haven't UPDATED in FOREVER you bloody bum

Me: I know i know...Did you miss me ciel xD?

Ciel: -_-" That's not the point...

Me: HAHAHAHAHAH SEBASTIAN COME HERE THIS XDDDDDDDDDDDD

Sebastian: What is it now?

Me: Ciel said he missed me XD 

Ciel: I never said ANYTHING like THAT!

Me: You implied it. Same thing.

Ciel : IS NOT

Me:IS TOO

Ciel:IS NOT

Me:IS TOO

Ciel:IS N-

Sebastian: SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I CUT BOTH OF YOU OPEN AND FEED YOU TO PLUTO .

Me:...You mad bro xD?

Sebastian: That's it! * eyes turn red* PREPARE TO MEET DEATH

Me: Silly Sebastian I already met the Undertaker :3

Sebastian: *takes and goes into a separate room*  
>_Inside the room_<p>

Me: *screams as sebastian takes off my clothes*

Sebastian: SHUT UP YOU ASKED FOR IT

Me:CIEL HELP HE'S TRYING TO RAPE SWEET DEAR LORD BABY JESUS SOMEONE GODAMN HELP ME!

Sebastian:*Proceeds to slip a suspicious liquid into my mouth*

Me: Feeling weak...So sleepy...*unconcious*

Sebastian: :3*Proceeds to rape *Join us next time :D *Still raping*

Yeah...VERY RANDOOOOOOM. Anyway I'll probaly make it a *of none existence* episode where I wake up and don't remember anything e. least we found out sebby is bi DARES OR TRUTHS. SAYONNARA MINA-SAN 3 3 3


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